Recently, I was invited to participate on a panel on dating and relationships, and I decided to write about an unfair burden that’s placed on relationships and a few other things I’ve learned over the years about relationships, both personally, as well as in my role as a therapist.   I wasn’t born knowing how to ‘do’ relationships; few of us are. Most often, we learn by some sort of psychic osmosis by directly or indirectly observing our parents, or parental figures, interact

The title of this blog sounds like an oxymoron: peace and fear in the same sentence?  And, who wants to make peace with fear anyway? Don’t we just want to rid ourselves of it? Or, better yet, let’s not have it in the first place. Well, yes, the idea of not having it is a good one but, unfortunately, it’s not at all practical.     If you’re alive and breathing, you’ve likely felt it’s pull on your heart several times during your life thus far, despite your many creative attemp

Those who know me well will easily recognize the title of this post, since I've been saying it to almost everyone I’ve known in my life, both personally and professionally, for almost four decades. They aren’t just empty words. In fact, the reason they flow out of my mouth so easily, and so often, is because I’ve experienced for myself, and witnessed in others, the degree to which they are perhaps the most accurate words – and useful words – that I’ve ever come across.   Thes

From the moment we’re born until the day we die we are continually absorbing messages that tell us who we are, what we’re worth as human beings, what we should be doing at any given time, how we should look (and especially how we shouldn’t look), what we should eat, what we should buy, what activities or careers we should or should not engage in, and so on. Opinions come from near, they come from afar, but for sure, they come, and they never stop. So, it’s no surprise that by

As each New Year approaches, many of us are naturally drawn to reflect upon the previous year. Reflections of this sort tend to reveal our successes, as well as the areas in which we hope to improve upon during the following year. ‘Taking stock’ in this sense, permits us to set meaningful goals for ourselves, which often include goals that help us to achieve a positive impact on the quality of relationships that are most important to us. In our intimate relationships, for exa

I’m often asked whether there’s a most common issue facing those who seek therapy, and usually I respond by saying that there really isn’t one issue that stands out, per se. However, there seems to be a common root to a significant number of issues that I help clients with that is “conflict avoidance”.   The avoidance of conflict, both in the immediate- and long-term, not only can undermine the foundation for any healthy relationship, it often eventually leads directly to its