Embracing Our Bodies: A Journey to Self-Love and Acceptance

Understanding Our Relationship with Our Bodies

As a psychotherapist, I often hear how people, especially women, talk about their bodies. They use hateful and disparaging terms. I’ve been there too. I know how hard it can be to make peace with our imperfect bodies. Are they ever anything else?

Many individuals spend a lifetime hating the way they are "represented" by their bodies. They analyze and criticize every inch of themselves. They compare their bodies to family members, friends, and almost anyone they encounter in life, including on social media, in movies, and on television. As a result, they often feel “less than.”

The Pursuit of Perfection

Some people will go to great lengths to change what they believe is wrong with themselves. This includes extreme diets, starvation, purging, laxatives, over-exercising, and various surgical and non-surgical interventions.

The rise of cosmetic surgery among those under 30 has increased dramatically over the past decade. Women over 40 are also seeking surgical interventions more than ever. These procedures range from minor ones like chemical peels and Botox to major surgeries such as full facelifts and liposuction. Unfortunately, some individuals have even lost their lives in the pursuit of acceptance from themselves and others.

So, what can we do to lower the number of people committed to altering their bodies? This question is age-old, but the answer isn’t as simple as self-acceptance. Or is it?

The Impact of Surgical Interventions

For many, surgical interventions can change their lives. They may feel better about themselves, regardless of how others view them. Perhaps this is where we should draw the line. If someone is improving their self-image without external influences, isn’t that a sign of health? In some cases, the answer is “yes.”

Consider someone who undergoes surgery to alleviate emotional pain tied to a part of their body. If they find peace within themselves as a result, that choice can be seen as positive. However, what about those suffering from eating disorders? They are often not driven by societal expectations but by their distorted self-image. Despite pleas from loved ones to eat, they may feel they need to lose more weight to be acceptable to themselves.

The Influence of Society

We are all part of a society that teaches us what is considered “beautiful.” Our decisions to alter our bodies are often influenced by these societal values, both healthy and unhealthy. Therefore, we must be clear about our reasons for making changes to our bodies.

What do we expect from these changes? Are we approaching them in a physically and emotionally healthy way? Do we feel any shame about our choices? If so, that could be a red flag worth investigating. Another sign of shame is secrecy. Do we hope no one discovers what we’re doing to change our bodies?

Before making any changes, we need to reflect on why we want to make them. Self-honesty is crucial. Denial or justifying our actions can block our ability to connect with our inner truth.

Changing Our Perspective

But what if we chose not to change our bodies and instead changed the way we view them? I believe many of us need to shift our relationship with our bodies. We should see them as loyal companions that have been with us throughout our lives. It may sound odd, but it’s true.

I was stuck with my body from the beginning. I couldn’t trade it in for another model once I became aware of societal comparisons. I, too, have dieted, over-dieted, starved, over-exercised, binged, and purged. I spent years hating and despising my body.

Looking back at photos from just a year before my "battle with my body," I see how lovely I looked. How did my perception change? Why didn’t I appreciate that before all the pain and torture? Yes, it was torture. Starving in our society is incredibly challenging, especially with food constantly around us.

Unless you’ve experienced it, you can’t fully understand the struggle of turning away from food you desperately want. The pain of starvation can be unbearable. Yet, many of us punish ourselves by purging because we fear gaining weight.

The Journey Towards Forgiveness

Today, I look at those old photos and ask my body for forgiveness for the years of mistreatment. It may sound silly, but it’s not to me. It’s about gratitude for the one entity that never let me down, despite how I hurt and rejected it. My body remains with me, still in one piece.

You might think I would hate my body more as I age. After all, I’m still part of a critical society. Yet, I look at my face, which may not be as youthful as my beautiful nieces, and I realize that if I’m fortunate enough to look back 20 years from now, I’ll see the beauty that exists today.

The best part? I don’t need to wait that long to appreciate it. I can see it now. I’m grateful that my amazing body still works with me, taking me where I want to go without complaint. I never take this for granted anymore.

In the end, I don’t believe my body forgave me for the abuse I inflicted because it didn’t need to. That’s the kind of unconditional love my body has offered me. It loved me all along, despite how I turned my back on it.

A Call to Action

I urge you to take another look at your body. Look deeply into the commitment it has offered you throughout your life. It deserves your love and acceptance. By offering it, you will heal in ways you can’t imagine.

Let’s embrace our bodies together. Let’s celebrate the journey toward self-love and acceptance, recognizing that we are worthy of compassion and kindness. We all deserve to feel at home in our own skin.